Disturbing Trends on TV & Facebook

I’ve seen some disturbing trends on TV and Facebook lately; actually I’ve seen them for a long time but they are getting more pronounced and widespread, and I’m bothered by it. This trend is to bash anyone who holds a different opinion. It’s a form of hate, a form of bullying, and I believe it needs to stop. 

I see it daily, personal attacks aimed at Donald Trump, Ted Cruise, Hilary Clinton, Kim Davis, and the like. Liberals and Conservatives. Educated and ill-informed. I see these people launching personal attacks on others for being hateful, and I think, what hypocrites we’ve all turned into. What makes anyone feel that voicing one form of hate is justified to combat another form of hate?

Many seem to feel it’s open season for anyone on the national stage, that fame makes people an acceptable target. I disagree. Hate is hate. It’s ugly and it’s destructive no matter who it’s aimed at. 

Last year one of my New Year’s resolutions was to speak no evil of anyone, to stay positive and not voice any negative thoughts. I found it particularly hard at first, especially considering what’s going on with the national political front. I hold strong opinions about people and issues, but I’m forcing myself to only voice positives. It’s the old Golden Rule in action.

Please believe me, I’m not trying to sound holier than thou. I’m no better than anyone. But once I began living the Golden Rule in earnest, it became much more obvious how many others don’t. 

I’m continuing that resolution this year because in the end, it makes me feel better about myself and others. There are still many people I disagree with, but I find it’s more helpful to support what I do agree with, rather than condemn what I dislike. And personally, I feel it’s the right thing to do. I mean, seriously, who the hell am I to criticize anyone else? I’ve not reached perfection yet, far from it, but I’ve learned it’s better to promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

Come on people, let’s discuss issues like adults, not sling insults like children.

A thought for the day. A wish for the New Year.

A thought for the day: Gandhi once said, “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate, but it is fear.”

I believe, actually I know, this statement is true. Hate is born out of unbridled fear.

I’ve often wondered why so many straight people, mostly religious people, seemed to hate gay people so fervently. It finally occurred to me that it’s because, by going against their set of religious guidelines, gay people actually challenge those rules, which challenges their entire belief system. Even gay Christians and Muslims challenge those beliefs they profess to follow.

It seems a bit strange to me that Christians and Muslims are so insecure that any challenge to even a single rule sends them into a hateful dither, but as Gandhi points out, it comes down to fear. They must be deathly afraid of anyone poking holes in the blanket of faith they have wrapped themselves in. I can only think that it must be a very thin blanket indeed if there is so much fear of losing it.

I for one have no wish to strip anything away from religious people, even through I think in many cases organized religions do more harm that good in the world. I believe everyone has their own path to follow, and every path eventually lead to the same place. 

My wish for the New Year is that we all walk our separate paths hand in hand in a spirit of love and acceptance.

A Life Lesson I Keep Relearning

I can, of course, only speak for myself, but in my years of practicing Zen, one of the lessons I have to relearn and relearn is that of letting go of the past.  Sounds easy, right? Oh so wrong…

Zen practice is all about staying in the moment, to be open and fresh for whatever this moment offers, or in some cases, whatever this moment throws at you. It’s about not carrying the weight of the past around on your shoulders. Believe me, personal history becomes heavier by the day until you become bogged down by the dense mass of it.

I don’t have to keep defending or explaining my past. It’s over. It’s not who I am anymore. And most importantly, it doesn’t have to influence the decisions I make now or in the future. 

The lesson I have to keep relearning is to forgive myself, for both my failures and triumphs, and move on, focusing on discovering what is right before me in this moment. 

One of my favorite quotes is related to staying in the moment: If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Leave behind all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. – Glenn Clark

We Are Nothing But Stardust and Thought

I read something on the net this week that seemed to encapsulate what much of Buddhist thought points toward, and I’d like to share it.

It’s breathtaking to consider: each human being, and most animals, have two eyes, each composed of 130 million photoreceptor cells. In each one of those cells, there are 100 trillion atoms—that’s more than all the stars in the Milky Way Galaxy.

However, each atom in each cell in each eye formed in the core of a star, billions of years ago, and yet, here they are today, being utilized to capture the energy released from that same process. All to expand the consciousness of each person or animal.

The universe has an interesting sense of irony, in that you are the universe experiencing itself. All you are is stardust and thought.

Goals Happen More Easily with a Daybreak Habit

The sun peeps over the horizon, rays of light burnish a new day, a brisk wind holds the promise of a majestic day. What do you do with this time? Sleep through it? Drag your butt to the office with a twelve-ounce mug of coffee at the ready? Jog? Take the dog to the park? This time, in my opinion, is the best time to set the tone for the rest of the day, the best time to achieve success on an important goal.

If you have an ambition you want to accomplish (for me it’s completing a novel), this is the time to perform a habit that will help make that ambition happen. A morning writing habit will get the book done. Simply wishing for the book to write itself, or saying I’ll do it “tomorrow,” doesn’t make it happen.

If you have an important goal, try making a morning habit focused on it:

•    If you want to lose weight, create a morning walking habit. Or morning strength training. Or prepare a healthy breakfast with fruits and non-fat yogurt.

•    If you want to start a new business, create a morning session where you brainstorm new industry ideas over that first cup of coffee.

•    If you want to become more mindful during your day, create a morning meditation habit.

•    If you want to work on your relationship with your spouse, have a morning habit of talking about your relationship over coffee.

•    If you want to journal or blog, make it a morning habit.

Why is morning a better time for important habits? Why not afternoons or evenings? I’ve found that time to be quieter, less chaotic, better for reflection and focus. I also feel that it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

My morning routine combines three of the objectives in the list above. Before sunrise, and first thing out of bed and after dressing, I enjoy a cup of coffee by myself. During that five minutes, I try not to think about anything. I simply let the enjoyment of sipping hot coffee pull me into the moment. As soon as that’s done, my husband and I leave the house for a brisk walk. We like to get out just as the sun makes its appearance, and we walk for three to four miles each daybreak.

I use that walk as a form of communication with my husband, as we usually spend several minutes talking over the day’s activity list or some future plans; I also use that time for meditation, as I let the sounds and smells and visual delights of sunrise in Palm Springs pull me deeper into the present moment; and during that last mile, I use that time to plan out what I want to accomplish on my story that day.

By the time I get back home, I’m ready for a quick breakfast, and more importantly, ready for work. I have a plan and I’m excited to get started. That brisk morning walk sets a tone. It relaxes me, it charges my creative batteries, and it carries me on through the rest of the morning. I love it, rain or shine.

I know many people are night people and don’t function well in the A.M., but I’ve come to depend on my morning rituals to help accomplish my writing goals. For me, it’s become a religion.

With Age, Friendships Become Dearer

I’ve found that as I grow older, I place more importance on the people and friendships I hold dear. When I get together with friends, I savor that time with them and do whatever I can to make the event wonderful for everyone involved. Likewise, when out-of-town friends come for a visit, I roll out the red carpet and place myself and my home at their disposal to ensure they have a lovely time in my city.

As so many other things in my life diminish in importance, friendships have skyrocketed to the top of my priority list. I was a loner for most of my life, but I’m learning that sharing life with like-minded people is one of the true, lasting joys in life.

I find that many people of my generation feel the same. A few weeks ago while Herman and I were visiting friends in San Francisco, some friends in the North Bay heard we were in town. They called to insist, insist!, that we drive up for lunch, which we did a few days later. One of the men, Tommy, recently immigrated to the US from Egypt. He single-handedly cooked an Egyptian feast for us, which must have taken him days.

The menu was:

Fried Eggplant,

Stewed Eggplant,

Babgenoug,

Green Lentil Salad,

Fried Poblano Peppers,

Foul Madamas,

Egyptian Potato Salad,

Felafel,

Kofta,

Hummus,

Pita Bread (Yes, he makes his own hummus and Pita bread)

Strawberry Shortcake,

Decaffeinated coffee.

All during this fabulous meal, I kept wondering how soon I could lure them down to Palm Springs so that I could return the favor. I have no idea what Herman and I will do to match the time and effort that went into this lunch, but I’m sure we will create something special, not as a competition, but because we simply want to treat them to something unexpected, something given with love, which is what they did for us.

The moral in this post is a life lesson that I have to keep reminding myself of—that paramount joy comes from giving others something heartfelt and loving. Happiness grows best in a field where much love has been spread.

The Kindness of Strangers

Six and a half years ago, Herman and I sold our home in San Rafael to a lovely couple and their two kids, who had spent the last ten years working in China. We only met them briefly, but told them one of our regrets in leaving that house was missing out on the plum tree in the backyard. It which produced the best-tasting plums, and from it we made scrumptious jam.

Now a FedEx box arrives about this time every year, chock full of ripe plums from that tree. A box arrived yesterday, and we were, once again, delighted.

This kind of thoughtfulness, unexpected and unasked for, reminds me that, in this world where there seems to be so much hate and violence, there is also love and bigheartedness. I wouldn’t trade that box of plums for a ten-thousand-dollar check, because the time and effort it took to gather and ship them shows true compassion for their fellow man.

And now, I feel compelled to pass on some similar act of kindness, so that others can experience the warm feelings I relish every time I bite into a plum.